If you’re reading this, chances are you’ve already felt the transformative power of Brazilian jiu jitsu. Your curiosity was piqued at some point, and you took that daunting first step onto the mat. You’ve been hooked ever since. Your life has been forever altered.

Likely, you’ve attempted to persuade every friend and family member to give it a go, only to be met with their dismissive “it’s not for me” reaction. Even though they’ve never tried it. You’re not the only one. We’ve all been there, and we’ve all faced the same outcome.

However, 2024 will be the turning point, as we’re here to provide some advice on how to get your loved ones to start their BJJ gi journey.

Reflect On Your Initial Experience

The crucial thing to recall is your emotions on the initial day you set foot on the mat. Whether it took you an extended period to warm up to the idea, or you impulsively decided to try it after tuning into a Joe Rogan podcast. I can assure you that you experienced some level of trepidation or unease.

It’s entirely typical to experience that gut-wrenching nervousness when embarking on a new venture. You may have several questions in mind, like “What am I supposed to do with my hand?” or “How should I act now?” “What’s the appropriate way to address the instructor?” and “I hope I don’t make a fool of myself.” This anxiety is a significant obstacle for many individuals. It’s why the vast majority seldom venture out of their haven to experiment with something new. 

The most effective method to overcome this obstacle is to introduce a touch of familiarity within the unfamiliar. Show them some exciting BJJ gi techniques in the comfort of their own home or during a family event (ideally where there might be some social facilitator). Propose to accompany them to their first-ever class. Reassure them that you’ll be their companion and guide them at every stage.

Expect The Justifications

I’ve encountered every justification imaginable. Repeatedly. The issue with justifications – whether valid or not – is that individuals tend to cling to them. The longer they cling to them, the more powerful they become until they perceive it as their reality.

The most effective method to counter an excuse involves a dual strategy. Firstly, you must recognize their excuse without belittling them; for instance, avoid starting with “that’s a lame excuse.” Regardless of your personal feelings, once they feel attacked about their excuse, they’ll be less open to your denial. Instead, initiate with: “I understand why you might think that however…” or “Many people share your viewpoint, however…” This approach will take you much further.

Secondly, you need a compelling argument about why their excuse lacks substantial merit or how it can be effortlessly surmounted. This is your rebuttal. You can devise some on your own or consider the following options:

• “I’m too unfit to begin” – Jiu-jitsu is an excellent method to improve your fitness. It offers a balanced combination of cardiovascular and strength exercises and the opportunity to meet interesting new people.
• “I lack the time” – Most gyms offer early morning, afternoon, and evening classes. If you can spare just an hour a few times a week, you’ll soon start to see the advantages.
• “I’m not comfortable with physical contact.” – This can be challenging, given the physical nature of jiu-jitsu. However, once you step onto the mat, you likely find your focus shifting from the physical contact to the skills you’re acquiring.
•  “I can’t risk injury” – BJJ is among the most secure martial arts that one can engage in. If situations begin to exceed their comfort level, or if pain starts to set in, they always have the option to tap out.

Provide An Inspirational Figure

A significant barrier to experimenting with new experiences – particularly physical activities – is an individual’s incapacity to visualize themselves participating in that activity. This contributes to the previously discussed justifications.

Actually, witnessing, rather than just hearing about individuals, motivates them. Resembling or living similarly to their friends or family members or being at a comparable stage enables them to envision themselves doing the same. This effectively dismantles any excuse that starts with “I can’t do that because of [insert personal life challenge here].” Suppose you have a heavier friend. Present them with a video of a heavyweight gracefully moving like a ballet dancer on the mat. Suppose you have a family member who is over 50. Show them a video of the seasoned rockstars in the master divisions, even if you have a colleague with a disability. Show them videos of paraplegic athletes who are competently matching up against their non-disabled competitors.

It’s truly inspiring to realize that Brazilian jiu jitsu not only creates an inclusive environment for individuals from diverse backgrounds but also provides them a platform to achieve personal greatness.

Keep Patience

The choice to begin jiujitsu or any sport or hobby, for that matter – is not an overnight decision for most people. While some thrill-seekers might jump in headfirst, this blog is not aimed at them. Applying too much pressure, too quickly or prematurely, will likely make your friend or family member recoil.

Sow the seed and allow it to develop at its speed. With you as a role model, exposure to jiu jitsu in films and popular TV shows, and hearing about it on podcasts and at the local café, their curiosity will naturally increase. With gentle nurturing, it will eventually grow to the point where they take their initial step onto the mat.

Keep in mind that after giving it a shot, most individuals either enjoy it or don’t. As long as they have experienced it and have definitively determined their level of interest, you’ve fulfilled your role.